As the 2012 election approaches, the Romney campaign is busily fielding Vice presidential candidates.

"Barack Obama's mother was in reality, the first pregnant man. Stanley Dunham was a flatulent itinerant plumber from Kansas,with a beer gut and a negative account balance, who had a penchant for the cross gender bars in his adopted home of Honolulu where he liked to cruise for black foreign national tourists. His legacy was sealed when he was the recipient of fallopian tubes,ovaries, a uterus, cervix and vaginia in a radical experimental surgery performed by Josef Mengele in Cândido Godói in 1960. Cândido Godói was known for it's unusually high number of twin births, this unpresidented pregnancy producing both Barack Obama and his twin half brother, Gilbert Gottfried."

I'm just not buying all the Swiss citizen crap. I have it on good authority that Michele Bachmann was in fact born on Tralfamadore in 1956, the offspring of Billy Pilgrim and Montana Wildhack. The migraines which afflict the Congresswoman are actually a residual reaction to her frequently becoming 'unstuck in time'. Her origin also explains her regular use of the phrase, 'So it goes'. This is not to say that Bachmann is an actual Tralfamadorian, but has citizenship as a birthright.

On this 40th anniversary of the Watergate Break-in,

 let's remember Martha Mitchell.

         "While in France, I lounged to be in Vietnam"

The Silence of the Vaginas

Michigan republicans have silenced two state house representatives, Reps, Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum. Why? They referenced their own anatomy when debating a draconian, regressive abortion bill. In silencing these two State Representatives, they have also silenced the tens of thousands they represent. It's been said the two women were argumentative, obscene, emotional, even hysterical. Michigan male representatives however are steadfast, unwavering, staunch and patriotic. Fervent patriotism does things to some people. Take Newt Gingrich for example. He was so filled with the patriotic intoxicant, he found it difficult to keep his sta-puft balls in his pants. Contrary to their perceived motivation and state of mind, Representatives Brown and Byrum were merely engaged in a debate, a debate whose particulars their fellow male counterparts found uncomfortable. We know that ladies and lady parts can be daunting and even intimidating on occasion, but this is no excuse to cut them out of the conversation, particularly when your experience with them is from the other side of the aisle at times. That is precisely why we must in those awkward times, embrace the vagina and their carriers. We vagina conveyance individuals often have much more intricate insights surrounding their use, misuse and sensibilities as we see them from a completely different perspective.