According to the New York Magazine, Honey Boo Boo is the new Shirley Temple. No she isn't. She's Baby Jessica without the well.  My prediction is that she will be a substance abuser by 9, knocked up by a close relative before the age of 12, and if still breathing at 15, both doctors Drew and Phil will exclaim "I'm outta here."

Survey finds potential link between marijuana and testicular cancer

"I am here to tell you with certainty that Mitt Romney is ahead by 15 point in Ohio, 21 points in Massachusetts, and 9 points in Florida. Victory will be his as he crushes the Kenyan infidel. Do not believe the lies you hear from the homosexual devils at CNN and MSNBC."

I've been telling you David Gregory was a Mic Stand, but you didn't believe me.

"As I've previously stated, based on my past experience in elections, I've found that when I explain to the voters what my intentions are, they tend not to vote for me. That being said, I can pledge to the American people my solemn promise to posthumously baptize the middle class, allowing them all to participate in the Heavenly Kingdom. Think of it as a voucher to paradise. Now if people have their own coverage through their religion or have decided to take their chances and go without coverage, that's their decision. My guess is that Joseph Smith doesn't want them up there anyway."

The Romney campaign announced today they intend to substitute Jon Lovitz for Mitt Romney in the three October Presidential debates, only offering as an explanation, "Yeah, That's the Ticket."

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been over three years since my last election. I've failed to vote in my local races, and the developers and corporate interests won. In the last two national elections, I voted with my heart on matters of values instead of practical sense and then even voted for a straight republican ticket based solely on an interpretation of The Bible which had no connection to the teachings of Christ."

"I absolve you from your sins

in the name of the Father, and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit. Go and sin no more."