"As I've previously stated, based on my past experience in elections, I've found that when I explain to the voters what my intentions are, they tend not to vote for me. That being said, I can pledge to the American people my solemn promise to posthumously baptize the middle class, allowing them all to participate in the Heavenly Kingdom. Think of it as a voucher to paradise. Now if people have their own coverage through their religion or have decided to take their chances and go without coverage, that's their decision. My guess is that Joseph Smith doesn't want them up there anyway."

The Romney campaign announced today they intend to substitute Jon Lovitz for Mitt Romney in the three October Presidential debates, only offering as an explanation, "Yeah, That's the Ticket."

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been over three years since my last election. I've failed to vote in my local races, and the developers and corporate interests won. In the last two national elections, I voted with my heart on matters of values instead of practical sense and then even voted for a straight republican ticket based solely on an interpretation of The Bible which had no connection to the teachings of Christ."

"I absolve you from your sins

in the name of the Father, and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit. Go and sin no more."

We'll talk about budget cuts, policies and practices in the light of day, in a quiet room, after the election. It's because Mitt has found that talking about his beliefs and plans prior to an election, tends to cause people to not vote for him. He has said so himself. Sharon Angle ran a similar strategy in her 2010 Senate race when she stated she'd divulge her policies AFTER she's elected. Clearly, she was focusing on getting by on her looks, causing her to lose by six points. The republicans believe in the sanctity of carried interest and that life begins with a 4.5% tax rate. I feel sure they would vigorously maintain the right of dual citizenship for interest and dividend income. Implementing plans that have already failed us time and time again, all at the expense of working Americans, service members and the elderly, not to mention young Americans who will witness their educational opportunities evaporate before their very eyes. I need for the presumptuous nominees to explain how deregulating banks and business, lowering taxes on corporations and the wealthy, while dismantling education and increasing the burden on wage earners and those on fixed incomes is going to 'rebuild America'.

"Volare, oh oh.
Cantare, oh oh oh oh"

Ratzo Rizzo and Joe Buck on their nationwide bus tour.
"Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself."